


Words I Thought I'd Never Speak

by gokkyun



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 02:19:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4942969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gokkyun/pseuds/gokkyun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you say things like this without sounding ridiculous?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words I Thought I'd Never Speak

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to wash away the salt and bitterness with fluff. Extreme fluff. ~1 1/2 hour. God. I'm sorry I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY. I'm already dead. 
> 
> Set during PW.  
> Enjoy ... I guess.

The soothing sound of the waves clashing against Mother Base travels to his ears as he tries to open his eye, once, twice, until it finally stays open. The screeching of seagulls join the pool of noises Snake is currently taking in, along with footsteps that come from outside, soldiers running their rounds to wake up, while he's still curled up in the white sheets of his bed. 

His blue eye meets a soft ray of light, coming from the outside. The sun is rising, slowly, like it does every day and yet the atmosphere around him feels unlike every day as he focuses his gaze on the sleeping man next to him. 

Every other sound suddenly becomes quieter, an almost comforting silence surrounding Snake, that is only broken by Kaz's soft, shallow breathing. A absent-minded smile crosses Snake's lips as his eye settles onto Kaz, taking in every little detail about the other man's sleeping form. 

It's only in situations like these when he sees Kaz's face like this, features not hidden by the sunglasses as his face is relaxed, mind cleansed of all these thoughts about budget and Mother Base's development. The left side of his face is pressed into the white pillow, slightly spread lips standing still for once. 

Snake can't keep himself from moving his hand, carefully placing it on the side of Kaz's face. A shiver settles down in his fingertips, the other man's skin warm and sublime under his touch, the almost silent intake of breath from Kaz's side bliss in his ears. 

The older man now lets his thumb circle over the side of Kaz's face, over his elegant cheekbones, over the smooth skin of his refined jawline, just before his thumb presses against Kaz's captivating lower lip, touch subtle enough for the other not to be pulled out of his sleep. 

Repeating these motions, Snake savors the feeling of Kaz's features under his calloused fingertips, resisting the ache he feels in his stomach, for now at least. 

A soft strand of Kaz's blond hair then falls over Snake's hand, as if it's asking for his attention. He complies in remaining silence, taking the strand between his fingers, carefully guiding it behind Kaz's ear. The man's hair is messy and untamed when it's not taken care of, softly curling around his lightly sweating neck and around Snake's fingers, who smiles as he plays with the loose, golden strands. 

Only Snake will ever see Kaz like this, hair curly and soft, the other man's eyes closed with a peaceful expression painted over his face. It's when Snake can hear his heartbeat, loud and clear against his chest and in his ears. 

It's not simply Kaz's looks that manage to enchant Snake anew in moments like these, moments of feigned yet seemingly ever-lasting and blissful peace, but also everything that the other man gives to him. No matter if it's one of these magnificent smiles that brighten Snake's mood more than anything he could ever imagine could or the motivation to keep going, even when things look dire. Kaz is like the morning sun, shining bright in Snake's life when he thought he was stuck in the dark night, trapped by the thought of having killed the only person he ever felt like he belonged to. 

"What're you ...", a grunt pulls him out of his trail of thought without a warning. Snake's eye focuses on Kaz, whose flushed lips spread with a yawn, eyes trying to open, but fluttering closed again and again. "... doo-", Kaz yawns - again -, "doing?". 

"Nothing.", Snake replies, fond smile placing on his lips as Kaz at last manages to open his deep blue eyes, shining bright in the morning sun. "Just admiring you, but I won't tell that to your already overfed ego.". 

A soft chuckle leaves Kaz's mouth, the enchanting sound of it slightly diminished by the loud beating of Snake's heart in his ears and chest. "That's cold, Boss.", Kaz says, voice still hoarse with sleep. He then lets his hand travel onto Snake's hand, guiding it back onto his cheek, Snake's hand engulfed in the warmth of Kaz's face and hand. "It doesn't seem like you at all to miss out on sleep just to look at me.", a cocky smile graces Kaz's full lips, "I mean, it's worth it, considering my looks.", his tone becomes more serious then, "But I know you well enough to know that something's going on in your head.". 

I love you. 

That's what's going on in Snake's head, watching Kaz's lips move in the faint light of the morning sun, the man's blue eyes staring back at him with a questioning and yet tantalizing look, like they always stare back at him, through the dark sunglasses at times and at times not. 

The first time they started at him they were enemies under different orders and through their own twisted circumstances and a voice in Snake's head told him that he needed this man, needed him like air. This man, that was unconscious in his arms, that wanted to blow both of them up with a grenade, blue eyes wide and full of pride and despair when Snake saved both of their lives. 

They stared back at Snake when Kaz told him about his past too, about his struggles, about his issues of not knowing who he truly was, to whom and where he truly belonged. These blue, back then sad eyes would look at Snake with empathy then, Snake telling Kaz that he once belonged to a cause, to someone, to his mentor, but that he's lost his way, that he's lost her. And he also told the younger man that they could build this dream of theirs together, this dream of a home for men and women like them, that belonged nowhere. And with time and effort, even the two of them would feel like they belonged. 

"Boss?", Kaz asks, eyebrows pressed together in worry as the younger man's warm body presses closer, only the sheets separating their naked bodies. "Are you alright? You look like all the thinking is causing you some serious damage.", Kaz chuckles, covering his mouth with his hand. 

Snake then rolls his eye, making sure that Kaz sees it, although he chuckles as well. "I'm trying to find the right words for this.", he says, his hand traveling back into Kaz's chaotic hair, gaze lost in the blond mess. "But it's hard doing this, no, saying this without sounding like I'm stupid. Or drunk.". Snake nervously laughs at his own words, feeling like a teenage boy who is confessing his love, not like a man leading an army. He tries to clear his throat, but his attempt is futile. "Jesus Christ, how do I say this."

His stomach twists as he hears a soft laugh from Kaz's side. "Y'know", the younger man starts, slightly coughing on the words thanks to his laughter before continuing, "I would've never dared to imagine that I would be in bed with a man one day, least of all a man I was supposed to kill and that was supposed to kill me.", Kaz's gaze turns soft then, thoughtful even, and Snake knows him well enough to see that he is trying to find the right words, to place them carefully on his tongue before they slip past his lips. 

"But I would've even less dared to imagine that this man, you, would give me everything I yearned for. A home. Somewhere I belonged. Someone I belonged to.", Kaz continues, biting down on his lower lip before his eyes stare back at Snake's again, like they always do, like they always will, alluring and divine. "I know you well enough to be sure that this is what you're trying to say. Along with 'I love you' maybe. And yeah, you're absolutely right. It sounds stupid. And embarrassing.".

Snake wants to protest, wants to tell Kaz how he's right and how this isn't stupid at all, even if it sounds like it, but instead he feels how the other man leans in, closing the distance between their lips. He sees how Kaz's eyes flutter close with need, and so does Snake's eye as he moves his lips against the other man's. His hand tightens in the blond strands, changing the angle of Kaz's head and pushing the younger man closer and yet Snake feels like Kaz isn't close enough. 

Kaz parts his lips then, Snake not losing a second to comply to the silent request, invading the other man's mouth, feeling Kaz's tongue against his own as they intertwine, dancing slowly and lazily in the morning heat. 

The shiver making its way down Snake's back then, the tingling in his fingertips, the butterflies in his stomach, it's something that Snake has never felt with anyone or anything. It's like a fire burning inside of him, every time Kaz touches or kisses him, and it would be unbearable if it weren't for knowing the other man was his. 

Kaz pulls away then, breathing heavy, Snake amused by the soft red on the man's cheeks as he opens his eyes. He leans into Kaz's warm face again, feeling the silently shiver of the other man. "I love you.", Snake whispers, his voice a soft breath against Kaz's ear, whose breath hitches in his throat despite knowing that these words were immediate. 

"I love you too.", Kaz whispers, and Snake's heart stops drumming in his chest and ears for a second. The impact that these small words cause in him is intense; he feels like his head, no, his world is spinning for a second. It's a soothing, almost peaceful feeling nevertheless, enhanced by the silence around them and the warmth of the morning sun embracing their bodies. 

It's Kaz who breaks the silence, shuffling in the white sheets until the side of his face is pressed against Snake's chest, who wraps his hands around the younger man's upper body instinctively. "Your heart is beating so fast because of me.", Kaz remarks with an amused tone in his voice, a soft laughter underlining his words. 

"You're giving yourself too much credit, Kaz.", Snake answers with a snarl, one of his hands caressing over Kaz's warm back while the other hand returns into Kaz's hair, the blond strands shining golden in the sunlight as Snake playfully curls them around his fingers. 

A soft chuckle, followed by a long yawn is Kaz's answer before silence falls upon them again. 

Snake can soon hear the lithe breathing of the younger man next to him, as well as feel the soft heaving of his chest, drifted back to sleep. 

He can't help but to repeat those small but meaningful words with a quiet whisper as he looks down, Kaz's calm face resting against his chest.


End file.
